the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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