did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Apparently you make a good broom.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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