wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Your penis caused this!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
