Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
