Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
