Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
