Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize