i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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