think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
