oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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