its not stalking. its research.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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