I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
