return my video game
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
