so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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