I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
birth control should be required to get into college
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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