I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Randomize
