They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My cat gives me a boner
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize