I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
