that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize