Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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