We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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