and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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