if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
