you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
this will be a night to untag.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
