I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
