I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
