Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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