Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
a search helicopter?!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
