You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
