so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
