I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
