If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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