and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
