you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
