those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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