I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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