After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
