I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
