The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
