If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
This toilet bowl is my home.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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