he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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