you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
