How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize