Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
