Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
