Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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