i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
