NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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