from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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