Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
