I smell stomach acid.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
