You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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