You work out of a Hotel?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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