I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
