Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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