whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize