Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
