Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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